my wall list

note to blog reader: I realize that yesterday’s blog said I was only going to publish once a week. However, I took my kids to chuck e. cheese yesterday! What do tokens, mediocre pizza and a freaky looking rat have to do with this blog, you ask? Well, I sat there watching my tribe of three children as well as the madness of 100 summer camp kids who were by the way, allegedly being “supervised” by 5 women from the camp. These woman were only “supervising” their cell phones and the cotton candy they purchased from the snackbar. Anyway, as I sat there in the mindless torture which is chuck e. cheese, I found myself imagining an alternate universe in which I get to kiss Rob Lowe whenever I want to. So here is another blog delivered to you even though it is 6 days earlier than originally planned)

In this universe, I am a happily married woman yet I still have my list. You know, the unwritten list most women can rattle off quickly of all the celebrities we would love to smooch. And, for me, when I say smooch, I really mean just smooch. I don’t really think of the fantasy past that. Honestly. Now realize, when I am thinking of kissing Rob Lowe – which I kind of do a lot, I don’t mean a “kiss your mom on the cheek” type of kiss. I am envisioning something like those scenes every Diane Lane – as a bored housewife having an affair with the artist she meets at the market – movie contains. You know what I am talking about. Her love interest never just kisses her. It is always the same scene. Diane’s lover grabs her, throws her passionately against a wall and kisses her with one of those incredible kisses we dreamed about as young pre-teen girls. We learned about these kisses in one of two places: Judy Blume novels or the 1980s Molly Ringwald movies.

With that explanation, it is no surprise I refer to the list as a woman’s WALL LIST. And by the way, since this is my fantasy, it is not just the actor himself on the list. I get to pick which character I want him to be at the wall.

If you promise not to tell my husband (or my friend Tom who will make fun of me for this), I will share the top of my list with you. (it is not a complete list because new additions appear with each TV pilot season)

my wall list includes (but is not limited to):

1. Rob Lowe: in pretty much any role he has ever done.  However, my top request is as Billy from St. Elmo’s Fire. I know I am not the only woman who had many dreams about that scene with the blue paint.
2. Michael Vartan: as Agent Michael Vaughn from Alias
3. George Michael: in his Wham! days, before the bathroom incidents. It is my fantasy, I can pretend he is still on my team.
4. Jon Bon Jovi: current age. I never cared for the longhaired rocker look. I was too much of a preppy.
5. Jerry Seinfeld: before he met Jessica. Really ladies, I am not an adulterer!
6. Chris Noth: of course, as Mr. Big.
7. Vincent D’Onofrio: Detective Robert Goren on Law & Order Criminal Intent. His brilliance does something for me.
8. Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson or Vince Vaughn: even though they all are very differently physically, I love all of them equally!
9. Jimmy Fallon: Funny does it for me every time.
10. Jeremy Piven: Agent Ari Gold in entourage. Adrian Grenier may be gorgeous but Ari Gold reminds me of those obnoxious guys in my college’s fraternities. Those guys never gave me the time of day but against my better judgment, they always appealed to me.

Okay, I know this list is long but I don’t want to leave anyone off. Remember that Friends episode when Ross left Isabella Rossellini off the list? That is how I feel. What if I don’t put Matt Damon on the list and then I meet him tomorrow and that ruins my chances with him? (oh come on, it doesn’t matter that he and I are both married to other people)

So, what was the point of this blog? None really. I told you, this blog is mainly for me to vent. Really though, I am hoping this will give you something fun and entertaining to think about. ( side note here: One of my readers wrote that she was disappointed I am not writing about deeper topics such as my political views. I am pretty sure that those of you who want read about politics are reading the Drudge Report for that.)

Think of me the next time you are starting to think of something that really aggravates you and need to take your mind off of the negative thoughts and re-direct.

Here is where I ask all of you happily married (or unmarried) women ( or men) in this universe to share with me.  Who is on your WALL LIST?  You can answer anonymously if you want to – then you can safely list your gorgeous co-worker, your favorite tennis pro, that beautiful guy at the gym (or beautiful girl, this is an equal opportunity site.  Seriously, I was this close to adding Portia de Rossi to my list.  I would not ask for a pre-nup either if I got to marry her.  Oops, I think I have I said too much.)  You get the idea.  I am only asking for you to tell me and the world who does it for you.

Leave a comment and let me know!

I am sorry, was somebody just saying something to me? I was just picturing myself against a wall with Matthew McConaughey. Darn, I forgot to put him on my list. Oh well, I am glad my list is not laminated!